My beloved Boston Red Sox just won the World Series in 4 straight games. I don't know what to say, but it's a fucking great feeling. It all started with an amazing ALCS comeback, and led us into a series of games with a bacstory that included a cadaver, a Holy Roller Hurler, and a lunar eclipse. Crazy. I can't wait to hear what Bill Lee has to say about this.

The Red Sox are in the playoffs, and currently 2-0 over the Angels in the ALDS. Last night's game started at 10 pm my time, so I spent today so tired that I am dizzy. I'd love to see the Twins kick the shit out of NYY, but I don't see that happening unless they can find a way to pitch Johan Santana every day and bat Torii Hunter every fouth batter. Not likely. In the NL, the Cards are almost a lock on the world series. Unless Houston's sudden momentum holds up, I suppose. A Cards/Sox match up would be pretty exciting. Last W.S. meeting for these two teams was 1967, the year Yaz won the Triple Crown. The strain on my tiny little mind caused by playoff stress is almost unbearable. Also, I'm abiding several superstitions that would seem silly to most people, and in fact, one superstition is that I can't go into detail about the superstitions. It drives the voodoo baseball gods nuts.

Johnny Ramone died Wednesday, which fucking sucks beyond words. Three dead Ramones now. The Ramones are the best American band ever. Think about it: most great bands are from England, while great solo artists are from the U.S. I don't mean your personal favorite band, but a band that is universally loved is probably from England. The Ramones were all American, timeless, and fucking rocked their asses off. Loved the Ramones since 1978, when the teenage son of my mom's best friend make me listen to them over and over, and they were the first band I saw live. I was 13, it was 1986, and I got in trouble with the cops for taking pictures. Still have the pictures. I saw them about a dozentimes over the years, and while the shows were great, they were even better on record. They earned the title "best worst band in the world" somewhere along the way, but that title sort of insults how freat those records really were. The Ramones mean something to me, but I don't think I can fully articulate it right now. I will say, that for an outcast teenager, lyrics like "Gabba gabba we accept you, we accept you--one of us" were not gibberish, those lyrics might have saved my life.

I haven't posted for a while, but I've noticed the less I write, the more traffic my blog gets. Strange.

I broke into my old apartment today, which seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I'm not so sure. My old roommate called me and asked me to fix his guitar (which was my job for a few years). I stopped by, he wasn't home. For no particular reason, I still have a key, even though I haven't lived there for eight months. I let myself in, grabbed the guitar, breezed out. No big deal. Until I got home. Then it occurred to me that if he came into my apartment like that, I'd probably have a hissy fit. I don't actually think he'd care, since he's asked me to move back in about once a week since I moved out. He'll probably think this means I'm taking him up on it. I did leave a note, so hopefully he won't call the police. I hate cops.

I went to my boss' wedding yesterday. Fucking blast. Here's some background--I used to be the managing editor of a regional lifestyle magazine owned by a married couple, and I hated every minute of it. The people who owned it had no ethics whatsoever. They did shit like promise articles to advertisers, which is really not cool. They also lied to advertisers about subscription and circulation numbers. They were also really mean, nasty, rotten people with no friends. Employees were obligated to hang out with them on weekends, despite the fact that they are not interesting people. Then they had a baby, and the wife became like Godzilla with pms. I lost my license for DWI, and they spent the next 3 months trying to get enough sack together to fire me. Eventually they did. While hanging out at my favorite bar, the owner's boyfriend offered me a job at his sandwich shop. I really needed a job within walking distance to my apartment, so I accepted. It turned out to be the best job ever.

I didn't realize it, but I was drinking a whole lot, trying to forget how much I hated my job. I don't have that problem now. The job is easy, and I never think about it when I am not on the clock. This frees up my delicate mind with lots of energy to pursue writing and such. I couldn't be happier.

So the wedding is basically a party at a golf course, with about 150 of my closest friends. Drank like a river, as did everyone else. Eventually we all headed to the bar, where we dazzled the common folk with our sparkling conversation and stunning clothes. Out of nowhere, a woman approached me to tell me that she didn't like my tie. For no reason. An hour later, I'm at a very Denny's-esque restaurant with her and two of her friends. They were kind enough to give me a ride home. While the fashion critic was driving alon in the front seat, I was making out with one of her friends in the back. Then the other friend in back starts rubbing my leg. I started rubbing her leg. Then the one I was kissing noticed, and said, "What are you doing?" "I don't know," I said. "Just go with it." Well, she didn't just go with it. She suddenly realized she was possibly headed for a night she might regret, and I was dropped off at home, by myself. Everyone left on good terms, but damned if I didn't try to fuck it up. Apparently lots of people have had three ways, but not this guy. The closest I've come is one night in London when I was 18, twin sisters left about a dozen hickeys all over my chest. That was cool, but it was also a long time ago. I had a blast last night, but I can't help but wonder if there's a woman out there writing in her blog, "I met the biggest jerk last night..."

I just watched Sarah Vowell on "The Daily Show." This is going to sound incredibly strange, but she is so fucking hot I can barely stand it. This unregulated heat is generated by her intelligence, which is highlighted by her lovely and dark sense of humor. Also, I think I can envision the exact look on her face at the moment she loses patience with me. I have a problem.

 

Marlon Brando died. I'm not sure how I feel, since he hasn't done anything great in ages. And I hear he was a prick to work with. He was great in "The Godfather," though.

I was checking on my favorite blog a minute ago, and noticed in the list of other people's blogs on the side bar that the blog listed under mine is gone. I can't remember what it was, but it has me worried. If my blog isn't interesting enough, I may suffer the delete command myself. Now I will have that in mind every time I post.

The pedal steel guitar I won on ebay showed up today, but I don't have the energy to play it. Or rather, learn how to play it. A lot different than a regular guitar. I just want to know how to make those cool country sounds so I can play along with some Whiskeytown songs.

I've really been neglecting this blog. Shame on me. Shame, shame, shame. Of course, it took my about 40 hours to figure out where I wanted to set this thing up, and I'm really lazy about doing anything with it.

I started reading Clinton's book. I miss that guy more than words can express. I wish I had been more supportive when he was president. I did vot for him in both elections, but I kind of gave him a hard time on foreign policy, which I stand by. The part I wish I could take back is that I thought he was sort of a phony. When he said, "My fellow Americans," I felt as though he was patronizing us, and not altogether genuine. Now, with the luxury of hindsight, I see that he talks to the American public much the same way he talks to a woman one-on-one. No wonder I didn't respond. Clinton is very charming, and I'll bet he uses that same voice to say, "You're a very interesting young woman. What you say is interesting, and I'm interested in hearing more of what you have to say. By the way, can I buy you a drink?" Nothing wrong with that, Mr. President.

After my last rant about how unfairly Clinton was treated by certain Republicans, a poster responded that the impeachment was about more than lying about sex. My response is "No it didn't." Not on paper, anyway. Sure, the Republicans were all over him, trying to find dirt that would send him running back to Arkansas because they felt that after occupying the White House for 12 years, that it was theirs, and that no Domocrat should sleep in the same house that Reagan and Bush (41) did. Think I'm wrong about how vengeful and spiteful the folks of God's Own Party are? Ask yourself this: What would the Republicans have done if the 2000 election went the other way? Imagine for a moment that Bush beat Gore by HALF A MILLION votes, but thanks to partisanship among Electoral Collage appointees, Gore suddenly showed up as the winner. We'd still be hearing about it. Really. And what if a Democratic Vice President had told a Republican Senator to "Go fuck yourself?" Do you think the Republicans would have given him the free pass they gave Dick Cheney last week? Not fucking likely. We'd hear about how that sort of language is an affront to the decorum of the senate, family values, god, the voters, and the ghost of Ronald Reagan. Unfortunately, we'll never know.

For those of you who aren't in the know, Cheney confronted Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy, telling him to lay off the Halliburton cronyism allegations, and Leahy responded by asking Cheney not to call him anti-Catholic because he didn't support a particular Bush appointee to a federal judge position. Cheney's witty reply was "Go fuck yourself." Since "Go fuck yourself" now has the endorsement of the VP as a proper expression of one person's feelings toward another person, I plan to use it more often.

FCC commissioner Michael Powell can go fuck himself.

Dubya can go fuck himself.

Chey and Halliburton can go fuck each other, while giving Justice Scalia a reach-around. Enron's Ken Lay can lick the sheets. Kenneth Starr can film it all for his voyeur fetish.

One good thing about Bush/Cheney: Between them they have 3 DWI convictions. If you have a DWI conviction, turn that frown upside down--you can get on with your life and make millions at the expense of others. Also, no matter what Bush says today, cocaine is still a cool way to impress chicks. 

Tonight the Red Sox face Minnesota, so let's hope for the best. The interleague play was interesting, but we didn't fare too well. That lousy call in the 7th on Sunday--that motherfucker was out by 3 feet.

Trot Nixon is back and on fire, so the team has that going for them. Nomar is doing well, Miller is on his way back sooner rather than later. All things considered, they're doing pretty well. After all, they played 1/3 of the season with what is essentially a AAA team. Perhaps their annual mid-July slump just came early, and they'll beat the hell out of the rest of their schedule.

Well, this blog has been neglected because I've been dealing with my dog, her illness, etc. I have to feed her by hand. It sucks, and is depressing. I have to wait another week before I can expect her to get better.

I watched Bill Clinton on 60 Minutes last night. Wow, do I miss that guy. Wouldn't it be nice to have a decent human being in the White House again?

Clinton got a raw deal when he was president. Who cares if he cheated on his wife? Isn't that between the two of them? Maybe she's frigid. I don't mean to put her down, I like her a lot--but maybe she's lost interest in sex. It happens. To hold impeachment hearings because a guy lied about a blowjob is a little excessive, don't you think? In my opinion, Kenneth Starr is a great big raging pervert. Sure, he had all these nasty things to say about Clinton's sex life, and that he was immoral and whatnot, but he spent way too much time (and taxpayer money) delving into the particulars. It isn't natural for a guy to be so interested in another man's sex life. I think he got off on it. I also think his prurient interest in other people's sex lives made him ashamed of himself, which made him work even harder to condemn Clinton's sex life. I would not be the least bit surprised to find that Starr bought a size 12 blue dress and jerked off all over it while reciting Newt Gingrich speeches and Bob Barr sound bites. Kenneth Starr is one sick motherfucker.

Seriously, in 20 years, how do you think the Lewinsky episode is going to be taught in schools? Puritan witch hunt, partisan politics, and much ado about nothing. Heavy focus on right-wing fundamentalists and their influence on the GOP controlled legislative arm orf government. How much good could Clinton have done in his 8 years in office if Republican lawmakers had spent a little more time worrying about the daily lives of tax paying citizens, and less time about an illicit, adulterous blowjob. In time, the Republicans will look like pathetic, sex-starved jerk-off monkeys with spooky perversions.

President Bush took a cheap shot at Clinton by saying he would restore "decency" to the White House. Apparently war crimes are a bit more proper than sex in the oval office.

McAffee anti virus firewall combo let 4 trojans through in the last 24 hours. One of them 3 times, after recieving them twice before. It won't allow me to clean the files, only quarantine them. What's the fucking point of buying this software when it fucks with my shit anyway?

Not only do I support the death penalty, but I think it should extend to people who write these virus/worm/trojan programs. It is so fucking frustrating.

Warning to readers--I'm about to write about my dog.

Well, after reading everything I could find on vestibular disease, it looks as though she'll probably be okay. Also, she didn't lean up against me because she was scared, it was for balance. Oddly, I find this comforting. I just left a really lame comment on someone else's blog, talking about myself, and I wish I could retract it. If I want to blather on like an idiot, I have my own blog.

I'm getting really freaked out by the religious right. Has anyone heard of the Presidential Prayer Team? They claim to not be affiliated with any party, but they're praying for Bush to get reelected, since he's the president, and they pray for him. They're spokesperson said they'll continue even if Kerry is elected in November, but added, "We'll just have to pray harder." Does that sound partisan?

When are voters going to realize that after the politicians we elect turn this great nation into a sadistic theocracy, the government version of Christianity isn't going to be the same as what Bob down the street believes? It's like saying the Taliban's regime would have been better if it had been Christian, not Muslim, even if all other factors were the same. I'm scared.

Yesterday I worked at a wedding. Sometimes I work for a friend of mine that has a catering business that she runs out of her bar, so that's how it came about. It's not a bad gig, as it pays 100-120 bucks for hanging out with my friends and drinking beer, while occassionally cooking or waiting tables. Yesterday I waited tables, and on the whole, it was uneventful. Except when we got back to the bar, Saturday night was in full swing. Some drunk loser started yanking on my tie, and it was the closest I've come to throwing a punch since I was about 14 years old. I think it would have been really satisfying.

I haven't been drinking much lately, so this morning I woke up with a wicked headache after last night's work and play. That alone would have been bad enough, but then my dog, Murphy, appeared to be really ill. On a Sunday. She couldn't stand up on her own, her head lolled to on side, and she would occasionally roll over and over. I got really scared, and took her to the local emergency vet. By local, I mean a 1/2 hour drive. The place was packed, and I was not in any sort of mood/condition to be waiting around. All of these dogs that looked health, up and about, playing in the yard outside were scheduled first. Apparently triage doesn't exist at animal hospitals. I finally convinced them I thought my dog was dying, and they took her in. She has geriatric vestibular disease, which means she's really dizzy. She's 14, and they tell me that it isn't unusual for a dog her age. Also, it might indicate that she has cancer, most likely a brain tumor. I realize I'm probably truning people away from this blog, but I really love my dog, and I hope it isn't cancer. She's spending the night at the hospital, and I feel awful knowing that she's probably so scared, and I'm not there. While we were waiting at the vet, she was lying in the grass, and I did the same next to her so I could pet her and let her know I was there. She exerted an amazing amount of will and strength, and managed to move herself right up against me. It broke my heart, because she usually likes a little space, and I realized just how scared she must be.

The vet was very nice, and she told me this could clear up, and she could be fine. I sure hope so, because I really don't want to lose her.

Yet another day has passed when I don't win the lottery. Life is so cruel sometimes.

A few thoughts on the passing of Ronald Reagan...

Ronald Reagan was an incredibly charismatic individual. He often came across as a regular guy in his speeches, and he had a great sense of humor. He was like your favorite uncle--if your favorite uncle hated women and funded Central American death squads.

While president, Reagen cut funding for birth control for the poor and opposed abortion, proving that the Republican Party only cares about the rights of people until the moment of birth, then you're on your own.

He funded fascist-leaning political movements in Nicaragua and El Salvador in order to create puppet regimes as insulation against what he perceived as a growing communist threat, leading to a lot of dead, innocent civilians and a lot of wealthy defense contractors. One large beneficiary of this was General Electric. Reagan was a pitchman on television for GE in the 1950s.

He sold arms for hostages, despite his own publicly-affirmed policy against such measures, and then lied to congress about it. Ten years later, President Clinton would face impeachment for lying about a blowjob. Which is the greater crime?

He ignored the spread of AIDS, figuring that it wasn't so much a public health issue as it was a gay issue. Gay issues aren't very popular in the Republican party, so partisan politics stood in the way of public health, thousands died before the govenment took any measures to educate people as to how to protect themselves against HIV.

Also, don't forget that he visited a Nazi cemetary in Bitburg and absolved all Nazis but Hitler for atrocities and genocide during WWII.

Ronald Reagan was diagnosed with alzheimer's disease in 1994. Or, at least, that's when we heard about it. If you ask me, signs were evident during his final years in office. This disease actually did Reagan a favor, believe it or not. It prevented folks from looking back at his years in office. Any time anyone was the least bit critical of the man, some neocon or radcon would show up to say it was a cheap shot at a man who can no longer defend himself. Perhaps now that Reagan is dead, we can look back at his administration and recognize both the good (he seemed to like children) and the bad without being called unpatriotic.

Just read the post I forgot to spell/grammar check. It would be funny if I wasn't so particular about such things. That's the price I pay for beer blogging.

Well, I'm currently enjoying a gentle beer buzz aquired at my friend, Abby's divorce party. The divorce was finalized today. We all (my posse) met up at Kelley's Row, the bar where we all hang out, sort of like our own St. Elmo's Fire. I showed up at 4, had to leave at 5 to get to my court-mandated AA meeting, then headed back to the bar to celebrate w/Abby, et al. No, the irony is not lost on me, but I'm over it. AA meetings suck. Here in NH, if you blow over .16 on your DWI breathalyzer test, you need to go to these foolish meetings. I'll tell you what sucked about today's meeting: There was a woman I found to be very attractive, but she was obviously at the meeting of her own accord, so we differ right there. Also, the line, "Hey, I was wondering if you might be interested in going out for a drink with me," (and smoother variations of the same theme) would be in vain. What I wanted to say was, "You'd be the hottest thing in this county if I thought I could take you out to have a good time with my friends and I at this divorce party. The bar usually comps about half our tab." I think she's call me an enabler, or possibly something worse.

Lisa was there, and she's beating the hell out of the breast cancer she was diagnosed with nearly 2 years ago. Oddly, she was smoking cigarettes. I realize they are affilliated w/a whole different cancer, but still--cigarettes? Yikes. I could feel cells freaking out just watching. Macabre.

Not only was it a beer night, it was a lousy beer night. Budweiser, for chrissakes.

Current news from Red Sox Nation: David Ortiz hit a sac fly to center to drive Bellhorn home to tie the game in the top of the 3rd. This brings Manny (1 HR tonight) to the plate with 2 down.

Manny: Full count, Millar on deck.

Washburn walks Manny, Kevin Millar comes to the plate.

Soon we'll explore why Millar is my personal Red Sox hero.

I'm outta here. Must watch the game, have another beer.

(Millar fly out to right. if ever I was tempted to adopt an emoticon, it would bew now)

Ever heard of Jessica Cutler? She's been in the news lately for her blog, washingtonienne. It isn't there anymore, but other people have saved all the entries to their own blogs. Anyway, Ms. Cutler worked for a senator in D.C., and kept a blog about all the guys she was sleeping with. She was outed as the owner of the blog, lost her job, and has been interviewed by everyone on the planet. The best record of what transpired is in a blog called wonkette. What's the big deal? Well, there were six guys going at once, including a co-worker, a Lieberman aide, and a Bush appointee, to name a few. She was accepting money from at least one of these men. Apparently, 400 bucks gets you in the back door. Ready for a rant? Here we go...

First off, I want to say that we shouldn't look down on women for having sex. The double standard on this has gone on for far too long. It is especially hypocritical for men to pursue sex with women, and then call a woman a slut or a whore for wanting sex. What do you think? You tricked your latest babe into giving in? I've never understood this, and I think women who like sex are great. Because I like to have sex with them.

Here's my problem: She shouldn't have accepted money. Also, she probably shouldn't have written so specifically about these guys, because it was easy for people to find out who they are. It sounds like some of these guys actually liked this mildly attractive woman. They did not know the whole thing was being broadcast over the internet. She might as well have filmed it and sold distribution rights. Also, when her identity became known, she hit the interview circuit with such zeal that I suspect being "outed" was part of her plan all along, to gain some sort of sick, second-rate celebrity status. Being famous for sex is only cool if you are a porn star. Reading her blog reminded me of a girl I "dated," who was actually just trying to climb the ladder to success. I guess I have the last laugh on that one, because she sure picked the wrong guy! At the time, I really liked her, and was blind to this.

Since I have no way of contacting Ms. Cutler, I sent an email to the owner of wonkette, since the two seem to be in constant contact. I asked her if she knew what Ms. Cutler was charging for a blowjob. I thought it was funny, but I suppose ignoring the matter would be more satisfying, since she clearly craves celebrity. 'Nuff said.

 

 

The Red Sox blew great big chunks today. It was a make-up game of a rain out earlier this season. I wish it rained again. Or, rather, I wish Terry Francona would send Derek Lowe to Pawtucket where he might not suck so much. Yes, I know he pitched a no-hitter a couple years ago, but that was then. I've always thought he wsa the weak link in the rotation, and this is one of those times I take no solace in being right. Ugh. The score was 13-4, Baltimore when I tuned out in the 9th.

I went to dinner with my 4-year-old cousin tonight. She spilled a frappe on my hamburger. It was actually kind of funny.

Well, this is it--my new blog. In fact, my first blog. Please be patient as I fumble with technology. I'm incredibly stupid when it comes to using my computer, and even basic tasks take on Herculean proportions when I take a whack at them.

It is currently about 2 a.m., Monday morning. I just signed up for this account. You'd think staying up half the night looking for an appropriate venue would indicate that I have something urgent to share with the world. Not really. A bit of a let-down, I know. The good news is that for all of you folks who are looking for shadenfreude, this is the place for you.

Right now I am faced with one burning question...Will anyone ever read this stuff?